You are MORE than enough for me.

It is so awing to find myself in this place, this place where God speaks to me through something that has become routine. When that happens, I feel so small. But small in a good way, like the way a small child fits perfectly on her father's lap.

Just the other day, I was listening to the song "Enough." It is a worship song that has been sung in church services a thousand times over, so much that it has almost become routine. But its meaning really struck me the other day. God. Is. Enough. God is MORE than enough. MUCH more. He is bigger than any trouble I could ever possibly face. Whatever struggle I may be facing in my life, whether it be an eating disorder, depression, or just some sin I'm struggling to overcome, GOD IS BIGGER. He is everything I need AND MORE. All I need to overcome my troubles, I can find in God and God alone.

For a while now, I have claimed that I was having trouble "hearing God." While I am not entirely sure what I meant by this phrase, I guess you could say I haven't felt as close to God as I have in the past. I am unsure why I am doing whatever I am doing that is pulling me away from my Creator. I don't even know what I am doing, but I do know that I need to find my way back. Because God is the only One who is sufficient for me. His grace is the only thing that can complete me.

It's a lot like that skit for "Everything" by Lifehouse. The girl in the video is consumed by each sin in her life, one immediately after the other. It is pulling her away from God, but God is constantly tugging on the rope, trying to pull her out. The truth is, God has been tugging on the rope for quite some time now. But at last, I will admit: I have just been too consumed by my own struggles to pay Him any attention.

Today, I relinquish control. God, I surrender. Everything was yours to begin with. From now on, I will cease pulling in the other direction, and let You pull me towards you. I NEED you. YOU are MORE than enough for me.

If It's a Crime, I'm Guilty

If it's a crime, I'm guilty

Of shrugging off every sin

Concealing every past regret

Buried deep within

I hide behind a curtain

Of jealousy and lies

But you can see the sin, the shame,

The hurting in my eyes

I sit in the pew on Sunday

I know the words to every song

I even know a few Scriptures

A good Christian -- so I thought

The stained glass window cannot hide

All the wrong that I have done

For God sees the real me

From him, I cannot run

But that's not it, there's more

Indeed, God knows my heart

But His Son's blood gives me new life,

A clean slate, and a fresh start

-Allison Gossage (2010)

What are my words compared to Yours?

I searched the world for a song that I could sing
Praise to my King, a gift that I could bring
But no music I found could compare to You
Not one could do justice to Your glory
What are my songs compared to Yours?

You speak with thunder and lightning

Your voice shakes the mountains

The foundation of the Earth

All I can offer is this fragile breath

And with each one I'll praise You

With each one I'll praise You more

I searched the world for a poem I could read

A rhyme that would bring glory to my King

But no writing I found was worthy of

This God high above all other gods

What are my words compared to Yours?

You speak with thunder and lightning

Your voice shakes the mountains

The foundation of the Earth

All I can offer is this fragile breath

And with each one I'll praise You

With each one I'll praise You more

Do you have a favorite worship song? I know I do. The reason why we have favorite worship songs is because we feel that certain songs are better than others at conveying God's glory. While this can be true, STOP for a minute. Think about who God really is, think about the wonder of His glory. We cannot even begin to fathom how great God actually is, and no song or poem can begin to describe Him either.

As for me, I am a writer. Or at least, I try to write. I especially like to write about God's wonderful creations. But my scribblings are nothing more than a pathetic, humanized attempt at making sense of God's marvelous, mystical wonder. In every single poem and song I write, I try to describe Him as best I can. I search the dictionary, the thesaurus, the encyclopedia, trying to find words to describe How truly awesome He is. But, I fail miserably each time. Nothing humans can write or say could even come close to painting a picture of who God really is.

I have found that the best thing to do in my frustration is just to STOP. Stop trying to mute God's glory with my human words that fall short every time. Stop all this theology, trying to humanize the Lord who created all things. Just STOP IT and spend time with Him! Talk to Him, praise Him for who He is. You don't need all those bombastic words that do no good anyway. Just talk to Him. Stop being confused by all the noise around you. Just do what Psalm 46 says, and BE STILL. Know that HE is God.

Rain

You know what it's like to be caught in a rainstorm? Imagine being a little child, about 1 or 2 years old, walking with your parents through the woods. All of a sudden, it starts to rain. Before long, it's just pouring! The rain pounds on your head, the lightning flashing and the thunder crashing, the trees swaying. You can't see anything beyond the storm. To you, as a little child, the storm is your reality. You begin shrieking at the top of your lungs, and your parents finally realize how terrified you are. They pick you up, and hold you close, whispering "I love you! We're gonna make it! I love you!"

Now, you're older. You have these moments, these storms, where nothing seems to go right. Eventually, all your stresses and problems build up, and you just can't take it anymore. Do you call out to God? Or try to make it through on your own? Hopefully, you cry out to God. Because quite frankly, you can't do it on your own. If you cry out to Him, He'll raise you up, hold you close to his side, and whisper "I love you! It'll be alright! I love you!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9udYp7UOP8A

Can You Help Me Find My Children?

About a year ago, I found myself completely intrigued by a story I had heard. It is a true story of two young boys who were lost in the Allegheny mountains of Pennsylvania for a few days and nights in early spring in the year 1856. It wasn't until a family friend, Jacob Dibert, had an intense visual dream telling him exactly where the boys were, that they were found dead. This story intrigued me so much that I felt compelled to write a poem about it. It is told from the mother's perspective, and is entitled "Can You Help Me Find My Children?".

Can you help me find my children?
For I was working in the fields
When they wandered off alone
To somewhere in these hills.

Please, help me find them!
I fear that they won't live
But I have faith, nonetheless
That God is always with them.

Their father went off hunting
The boys had stayed behind
When I turned my back for one second
They wandered from my side.

Oh, Jacob, tell me, what was your dream?
I'll do anything to find my boys
Tell me, sir, what shall I do?
For they are my pride and joy.

He said to me "Dear sister,
I'll tell you what I saw
I saw the children lying there
Behind a hollow log.

The wind and rain had got to them
It tore right through their flesh
Alas, dear lady, I'm sorry
Your boys, this night, are dead."

There stands a monument this day
To mark their place of rest
It stands there to remind me
Of their terrifying death.

Significantly Insignificant

All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field. The grass withers and the flowers fall, because the breath of the LORD blows on them. Surely the people are grass. The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever.
-Isaiah 40:6-8-

GOD is big. WE are small. GOD is eternal. WE are a moment. We're just a speck of dust in our milky way galaxy. And that's not all. Our galaxy is just one in hundreds of billions of galaxies in the whole universe.

So pretty much, we are insignificant. But it's not that "oh, i'm not important" insignificance. We were made for a purpose. But in this world of ours, we are so small.

Astronomers estimate that the world is 156 billion lightyears wide. And a light year is 5.87 trillion miles. You can do the math if you want to, but 156 billion lightyears is a BIG distance. This has led many people to believe that if Earth is the only inhabited planet, then all that other space is just wasted.
But the universe has a different purpose besides just being our home. I believe that it was created to communicate God's glory to us. As big as the universe is, the Bible says that God measures the heavens with the breadth of His hand.

Wow. 156 BILLION light years is nothing in the eyes of God. So who are we that He is mindful of us? That He calls us child, friend? That He cares when something happens and we don't feel like we can handle it? If we were as big as God, do you know how easy it would be to get caught up in the power and responsibility, and neglect other people. But He cares for us. He'll help us when we need help.

We are a moment. GOD is forever.